The Grumpy Traveller gets deflated by the spa experience,

I have never been one for spas. I can never quite see the point of lying around almost naked while some pretty young thing rubs you down with rice bran before inviting you to step into a tepid bath of rose petals.

There is probably a world glut of rice bran, so like the clever New Zealanders who turned an ugly Chinese gooseberry into a handsome kiwi fruit, the people who market rice bran have massaged the message that your skin will sparkle with a good dollop of this stuff between the pores.

Most times I'm asleep and snoring after just a few minutes of massage, once waking up to a sizable bill for the pleasure of drinking jamu tea, something you suspect might be good for you because it tastes so bad.

Mrs Jarrett, of course, adores spas. Often when we're on holiday I only find out how much she adores spas when I check the account on departure.

"You told me you were doing the free meditation session on Tuesday," I protest. "Oh, yes, but I passed the spa and just popped in for the crystal mineral body scrub and special sea mud body wrap."

"And then?"

"There was a special offer on the massage with fennel and juniper to break down fatty cells while increasing and stimulating blood circulation."

I pay the bill while mentally working out how many bottles of quality shiraz I could have bought for the cost of the spa treatment.

I have had the yoghurt rub in Yogyakarta, the exfoliation in Hua Hin, suffered hot rocks and flower baths in Bali, berries on the Barrier Reef, and pureed papaya in Phuket, but apart from smelling like a fruit basket I don't feel that spa treatments have added to my overall inner glow

There is something else about the spa revolution. Once it was people who wrote real estate advertisements who used the most flowery and preposterous language. But now spa spinners wear the crown for over-the-top piffle.

Take the Daintree Eco Lodge and Spa in Australia, whose Walu BalBal - Shine Face - treatment is described thus:

"In the beginning ... our unique spa facial will transport your senses to a time where sacred rainforests harboured ancient wisdom and therapeutic botanicals. Lillypilly berries, herbal kelp and wattleseeds are just a taste of what will follow."

Yeah, of course.

I mention all this because a new study has questioned whether resort spas will become yesterday's news. Almost two thirds of those questioned by TRI Hospitality Consulting said they did not know if spas were just another fad and thought hoteliers should resist investing in such facilities unless a compelling business case could be made for them.

Sixty nine per cent felt there were better areas in which to invest to grow hotel sales, such as conference and banqueting facilities.

So here's the rub: like the yo-yo, the hula-hoop and Rubik's Cube, the attraction of spas may not last. But I wouldn't bet on it.

 



IAN JARRETT is based in Fremantle, Western Australia from where he travels frequently in Asia on assignments for travel magazines.

He is a member of the BamBoo Alliance, a group of leading travel writers in the region. He can be contacted at ianjarrett@mac.com