There was a time when exclusivity was everything, the best members' clubs thrived on the mystery of the invite, the allure of the members-only threshold, the sacred divide between 'them' and 'us'.

And the quiet satisfaction of knowing you were inside, while others were left outside, nose pressed against the glass. But today, there’s a shift. Is exclusivity still the key to desirability, or is inclusivity the cultural currency?

As Groucho Marx famously quipped, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” His words perfectly capture the paradox at the heart of the modern members’ club: exclusivity is appealing, but at what point does it become self-defeating?

In an era where the food and beverage scene is booming, and the bar is continuously being raised so high it’s practically in orbit, members, guests and prospective members are spoilt for choice elsewhere. The club’s cocktail menu might be good, but so is the bar down the street, and they don’t charge a membership fee. If clubs aren’t offering something truly exceptional, they risk becoming just another option in a saturated market.

1. The Old Model: Exclusivity as the Ultimate Status Symbol

For decades, members’ clubs were designed around keeping people out as much as bringing people in. The allure was in scarcity, the whispered promise that not everyone could belong. Some clubs perfected this art:

• The Invitation-Only Mystique – If you had to know the right people, it made membership feel even more valuable.
• High Fees, Higher Barriers – A financial and social filter to ensure a very specific crowd.
• Rigid Member Profiles – A curated environment meant a certain uniformity of background, industry, and ambition.
• The Waitlist Effect – A carefully managed pipeline where anticipation and delayed gratification build desire. The longer the wait, the stronger the allure.

This approach worked for a long time because, let’s be honest, people like to feel special. But in a world where digital communities thrive on connection, and status is less about wealth and more about influence, is this still the winning formula?

2. The Shift: Why Inclusivity is Gaining Ground

Something is changing. The best clubs today and tomorrow aren’t just about who you know, but about who you can meet. Modern members are looking for more than just a room full of people who look, think, and work like them. Instead, they want:

• Diversity of Thought – Engaging conversations and unexpected connections.
• Cultural & Professional Variety – A mix of creative, corporate, and entrepreneurial minds.
• Purpose-Driven Spaces – Clubs with values, missions, and contributions beyond just exclusivity.

But here’s the real challenge: In some locations, most of the traditional audience for clubs has already been exhausted. Those who have always aspired to club membership have likely already joined one, gone through the excitement of approval, been put on a waitlist, attended a few events, and then left, citing: “I didn’t use the club much.”

Which, in reality, translates to: “I didn’t feel enough value for my membership.” Or worse, “It over-promised and under-delivered.”

Once bitten, twice shy. And when past members disengage, they are rarely enticed back. This leaves clubs with a new challenge - reaching and connecting with those who never saw themselves as “club people” in the first place.

3. The Growth Trap: Dilution of Exclusivity

As clubs grow, so does their budget - and with that, the need for more members. But here’s the catch: the more a club expands, the more exclusivity naturally dilutes.

What starts as a carefully curated sanctuary can quickly become a generic networking hub or an uninspired shared workspace, filled with members who, once upon a time, would have been left outside that very velvet rope. The result?

• The original core members feel alienated – They joined for an intimate, exclusive environment, not a bustling free-for-all.
• The vibe changes – What was once a hidden gem starts feeling like a gym on a January Monday evening.
• The soul of the club weakens – When clubs chase numbers over curation, the identity that made them special in the first place starts to fade.
• Retention drops, and with it, the best (and most cost-effective) marketing tool 'word-of-mouth' takes a nosedive. When members feel invested, they don’t just stay, they advocate. They invite their friends, they boast about the club’s unmatched vibe, and they ensure that their inner circle doesn’t miss out. A thriving club isn’t one that has to constantly sell itself - it’s one that grows organically through a strong, loyal core that doesn’t want the magic diluted. When long-standing and long-serving members leave, the club loses not just revenue but also its most powerful PR engine. The once-coveted club now finds itself struggling to attract new interest without the organic buzz that made it desirable in the first place.
• The existing members become a revenue cushion – To cover shortfalls in new memberships, clubs start working their existing members harder than a barista on Monday morning - pushing more meals, pricier drinks, and ticketed parties disguised as ‘exclusive experiences.’ Suddenly, the ‘private’ members’ club feels more like an upsell factory, and members start to wonder: is this a place to belong, or just another place trying to max out my tab? The bar tab mysteriously creeps up, and suddenly, everything from a club dinner to a “networking brunch” feels more like a desperate cash grab than a curated experience.

It’s the ultimate paradox: to survive, a club must grow; but in growing, it risks losing the very thing that made it desirable.

4. The Balance: Wellness for Clubs - Curating Without Overcrowding

Much like personal wellness, a great club requires balance - too much exclusivity and it becomes stagnant, too much inclusivity and it loses its soul. Like a well-balanced wellness regimen - equal parts detox and indulgence, the best modern clubs are finding a way to blend exclusivity and inclusivity, ensuring growth doesn't come at the expense of quality. Think of it as a wellness routine for the club:

• Curation over Clutter – Just as a great wellness program doesn’t throw every trend into the mix, clubs should prioritise experiences that add value, rather than overloading members with an exhausting social calendar.
• Exclusivity through Experience – The focus isn’t just on who gets in, but on what happens once they do. Unique programming, unexpected collaborations, and true engagement become the new differentiator.
• Inclusivity through Access – Tiered memberships, digital-first communities, and pop-up experiences allow a broader audience to engage without diluting the core club identity.
• Community over Status – Instead of gatekeeping, clubs can cultivate a membership that is connected by purpose, not just prestige.
• Reaching the Unlikely Member – Finding those who never considered themselves “club people” and showing them why they actually belong.
• Sustained Desire Beyond the Waitlist – It’s not just about the chase; once inside, members must feel their investment is validated through unique, evolving, and consistently valuable experiences.

A club that masters this balance is like a well-run wellness retreat - energising, refreshing, and intentional, rather than overwhelming, crowded, or directionless.

The result? A club that remains aspirational without feeling elitist - a space where members are proud to belong, not just because others can’t, but because they’ve found something truly valuable inside.

What’s Next?

As the membership model evolves, clubs that are still in development - those carefully crafting their identity before opening their doors, will need to ask themselves:

• Are we building a community that attracts or one that simply filters?
• Is exclusivity still our currency, or is it holding us back?
• How do we stay desirable while remaining relevant?
• Are we only marketing to the same group of people who’ve already cycled through clubs, or are we expanding our reach?
• Are we creating lasting value beyond the initial excitement of gaining entry?

Because in the end, the best members’ clubs aren’t just about who gets in - they’re about why people stay.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Richard D'Silva - Follow
Community | Members' Clubs | Membership Growth, Engagement and Hospitality | Proven Track Record in Scaling Clubs, Opening New Venues, and Driving Strategic Initiatives for Exceptional Member Experiences