The handshake, as we know it now, is in danger of becoming extinct, much to the delight of some and to the chagrin of others, during this crisis in addition to practicing social distance, washing our hands constantly, not touching our face, we have been advised not to shake hands.
Eventually, we will be able to gather with others socially and professionally. When we do, we may remember to wash our hands frequently. We may think twice before touching our face. But what will become of the handshake?
If Dr. Fauci of the Corona Taskforce has his way, we will never shake hands again. Let me assure you that I have the utmost respect for Dr. Fauci. We are fortunate to have him to guide us through these terrible days, weeks and months. I am not disagreeing with Dr. Fauci. I am wondering just how this will work. After all, we have been shaking hands for centuries.
On the CBS Sunday Morning, Mo Rocca interviewed an anthropologist who stated that the handshake dates back 60 million years. He added that it is “a very primal sort of connection, very emotional.” He pointed out that chimpanzees and gorillas long for tactile contact and do much the same thing as humans. We like that physical connection.
Throughout history the handshake has been a sign of peace and respect. We shake hands with our right hand. Some say that has its origins in medieval times. Knights used the right hand because that was the one that drew the sword. Engaged in a handshake, the knight was unable to draw his sword and strike.
Today we extend a handshake in both social and business situations. We offer our hand when we meet people, when we leave people, when we thank someone, congratulate someone or offer an apology. If that age-old practice goes away, what will we do? While there are options, one thing is for sure, there will be many awkward moments while we try to come to a decision.
Before you head out into the world of the “new normal’, decide how you want to deal with the issue and plan what you will say. If you choose to remain a fan of the handshake, don’t assume other people are as well. You might approach by asking people how they feel about shaking hands. If they don’t want to offer their hand, assure them that you understand. If you are anti-handshaking, say so right away. Explain, “Please forgive me for not shaking your hand, but in light of all we’ve been through, I am not comfortable doing so.”
Some people are turning to the East for guidance and choosing the Indian greeting Namaste. All yogis know this gesture. You bring both hands together and center them in front of your chest. Then make a small motion to bow while saying Namaste. In the Japanese tradition, the bow is another choice for staying germ-free.
One more greeting is simply holding up an open hand to others. That signals that you are not going to shake hands. It is generally readily understood. Just make sure your open hand doesn’t come across as “Whoa, back off.”
In case you end up shaking someone’s hand because it’s such an ingrained habit, pause before dousing yourself in hand sanitizer.
I have omitted the fist bump and elbow bump from my list of professional greetings. Need I say more?
Good manners and etiquette are all about making people feel comfortable. Keep that in mind when you decide how to deal with shaking hands in a world that the Corona virus has changed forever.
Be safe and be well,
Lydia Ramsey is an international business etiquette and modern manners expert. She is the president and founder of Lydia Ramsey, Inc., a firm based in Savannah, Georgia, offering seminars, keynote speeches and executive coaching to corporations, associations, colleges and universities. She began her career as an etiquette consultant over thirty years ago.
Among her clients are Turner Construction International, Colas International, Gulfstream Aerospace, Georgia Ports Authority, PSS World Medical, TSYS, SunTrust Bank, The PGA Tour, The American Hospital Association, The US Federal District Courts and The US Bankruptcy Court and The Insurance Underwriters of Georgia. Lydia firmly believes that etiquette in business is not about the rules; it’s about the relationships.
www.lydiaramsey.com
