This week, Yeoh Siew Hoon received an email titled "Surprise for your woman". Since she was not interested in surprising any woman, she immediately deleted it. But the emails didn't stop there.
On the same day, I received another email titled "CV of the Year". I immediately clicked on it because I've always found CVs one of the hardest things to write.
I mean, how much do you share? How much is too much? How little is too little? Are you gloating if you share too much of your achievements (perceived or otherwise)? Or can you be too modest that you never get your foot in the door?
A CV raises a lot of questions about us and allows others to judge us unseen. For instance, if you change jobs too often, are you seen as flaky or ambitious and hungry for change? And if you stay in a job too long, are you seen as boring and unadventurous or loyal and committed?
Most CVs I have come across are so boring. They make people sound so robotic. Yet, Curriculum Vitae, literally translated, means the story of your life .
In my time when I was going through CVs and deciding whom to interview, I always looked for the one bright spark that would differentiate one CV from another.
Of course, since I was interviewing for writers, it helped if they could at least spell and write properly. But I always tried to sniff out the X factor. It didn't work some of the time but when it did, it was worth that extra sniffing.
Anyway, the CV of the Year was from a 17-year-old kid who reportedly filled out a McDonald's application form and his replies were so honest and funny that they hired him.
Under Sex, he wrote Not yet. Still waiting for the right person .
Under Desired Position, Company's President or Vice President, But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place .
Under Desired Salary, $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle .
And under Salary, less than I'm worth .
Anyway, he's given me inspiration to write a CV for my dog. You see, I read an article (this week has been a real good one) that Fairmont Hotels now have canines on staff.
The Fairmont Copley Plaza in Boston has hired a black Labrador retriever, Catie Copley. The article says, As "canine ambassador," Catie greets guests who miss the companionship of their own pets, and accompanies them on walks and jogs. She even has her own booklet featuring her favourite walks, an appointment book, business cards and an e-mail address (catie.copley@fairmont.com).
The other hotel is the Fairmont Washington, DC, which has Jana, a black Labrador retriever puppy, who is in training to be a guide dog and is being socialised at the hotel.
I reckon it's time that Dylan works for a living so I can retire early. This week too, I read an article that said, Retire at 45. Make it real . One tip was, make your assets work for you.
This is what Dylan's CV would look like.
NAME: Dylan (Whatever) - I am happy to be named after your company provided it's not Golden Fortune.
SEX: I can't.
DESIRED POSITION: Horizontal.
DESIRED SALARY: Sally, the bitch next door.
EDUCATION: Of course. What do you think I am? A dog?
LAST POSITION HELD: Horizontal.
SALARY: Lifetime supply of love and, who am I kidding, free meals and treats.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: Fetching 10 balls in 10 minutes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: A chance to meet new super dogs.
AVAILABLE FOR WORK: If you insist.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Licking.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living with Sally in the Mediterranean.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Dogs do not lie.
The SHY Report
A regular column on news, trends and issues in the hospitality industry by one of Asia's most respected travel editors and commentators, Yeoh Siew Hoon.
Siew Hoon, who has covered the tourism industry in Asia/Pacific for the past 20 years, runs SHY Ventures Pte Ltd. Her company's mission is "Content, Communication, Connection". She is a writer, speaker, facilitator, trainer and events producer. She is also an author, having published "Around Asia In 1 Hr: Tales of Condoms, Chillies & Curries". Her motto is ‘free to do, and be'. Contacts: Tel: 65-63424934, Mobile: 65-96801460Check out Siew Hoon's new website, www.shy-connection.com, which features a newly-launched e-zine with a difference. 
