I don't know about you but I'm tired of being a customer - when I contact most businesses these days they ask for my account number- not my name because most calls are recorded and monitored now, most customer service representatives will barely breathe as they say, "HimynameisKathyhowmayIhelpyou?" 

If I actually tell them my name, they'll never use it again in the course of the conversation. Or rather, the exchange.  For most customer service calls are not conversations at all.  They're simply a game of verbal volleyball until one side or the other scores.

 Since all of you reading this have been customers, you know that this kind of "service" really isn't service at all.  It isn't designed to satisfy the customer.  It's designed to take care of problems.  It doesn't build relationships. 

Nine times out of ten, it builds frustration.  It's not about one person helping or satisfying the needs of another.  It's about numbers, reducing the person who is actually paying the bill to the number of seconds or minutes it takes to make him or her go away.

But some businesses are changing that.  Fred Lee, who wrote the book, "If Disney Ran Your Healthcare System," talks about the remarkable customer service he encountered at the Renaissance Inn in Knoxville, Tennessee. 

Fred came out to his car one morning to find, much to his dismay, a note on the windshield.  But as he removed it, he was surprised to read, "Your windshield scraped courtesy of the maintenance department.  Have a nice day."

Lee was surprised by this act of caring, so he went inside and asked the manager of the  hotel what her secret was.  She invited him to the next staff meeting, which was held in the lobby, not only in view and earshot of the customers, but including them. 

The manager opened the meeting by asking, "Is it anyone's birthday today?"  This was followed by, "Who needs special prayers?"  Then she asked a question her employees couldn't wait to answer:  "Who has done something special for a guest in the last 24 hours?"  Fred quickly saw how caring about people was the secret to their profitability.

Dakota Valley Electric Cooperative also takes a unique approach to customer service.  They invite a few customers to their annual meeting not to watch or listen, but simply to talk with their employees.  Suddenly, what might otherwise be a faceless, numbered "customer" is transformed into a human being. 

Instead of being a problem to be solved and dismissed, they're seen as real people who bring new opportunities for growth and greatness to the cooperative.  Simply by talking to one another, new bonds of understanding and support are created.  Ultimately, this is what builds customer loyalty for the co-op, because we always do business with people whom we feel truly know and care about us. 

This is essential to their long-term survival, because big electric companies threaten to infiltrate their territory every year.  But it's also living their ethics and values, and it works. 
 
Talking with, rather than at, your customers really isn't difficult.  You have dozens of opportunities to do it every day, if you think of everyone you meet as your "customer."  Try imagining your family members and co-workers as customers, not just those across the counter, in the hall or on the phone with you.  Here are a few tips to get you started on more mutually-satisfying interactions.

 1) Use the person's name.  Psychologists have proven that nothing gets our attention faster than the sound of our own name.  If you know it, use it to begin the sentence, "Jane, thank you for this information."  If you don't, introduce yourself and ask for the other person's name.  

"My name is Cheryl.  What's yours?"  Pay attention if they use Mr. or Mrs. rather than a given name.  My mother-in-law was from the south, and preferred "Mrs. Silverman" to "Evelyn."  She would often stop doing business with people who addressed her informally.  Remember to close the conversation with the person's name, too:  "Thank you calling today, Jane." 

 2) Stop, look and listen.  Before you enter into a conversation, stop.  Look at the other person's posture, body language and mannerisms.  If they shuffle up to your desk, chances are good that their energy is low.  If they raise their voice right from the start, you know they're angry. 

Sometimes you can even see or sense medical problems, like a bad hip or a bum knee.  Use these clues to immediately recognize their condition, so they know you understand.  A comment like, "How can I make your life a little happier or healthier today?" will usually bring more of a smile than, "Yes?" or "Can I help you?" 
 
3) Use the time that you're accessing computer files to talk with your customer.  Keep the subjects simple, like asking about how the weather is where they are or if they've been having a good day.  Respond to what they tell you before you go on to the business portion of your exchange. 

4)  Ask questions that don't have "yes" or "no" as an answer.  Simply say, "Could you please tell me more about that?"  or "Do I understand you correctly when you say..."  Try to rephrase the last few words they say so they know you heard them.

5) After the customer leaves, make notes about things he or she may have said that offer service opportunities.  For example, if they mention they will be out of town all winter, arrange to contact them about energy-saving thermostats. 

Remember: a customer is a person, not a walking wallet or a thorn in your side.  Talk to them, not at them, and you'll soon discover how much fun customer service can be!  

Robin L. Silverman has been working with businesses, associations, schools and hospitals for over 15 years to help them energize and fully engage their employees.  For more information, see www.robinsilverman.com