The Grumpy Traveller is amazed that Grumpy Old Women have so much to laugh about, like facial hair and sagging boobs

The BBC knows when it's onto a good thing. No sooner had the TV series Grumpy Old Men stumbled off our television screens here in Australia than we get Grumpy Old Women whingeing in widescreen.

My wife, who's Australian, goads my British heritage by telling me that you could only make a programme about Grumpy Old People in the UK because that's where all the grumpy people live.

She may be right because the BBC has follow-up series of Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women ready to roll.

And I'm sure they won't stop there. We could have Grumpy Old British Royals featuring Prince Philip, Princess Anne and the Queen's corgis.

We could have Grumpy Desperate Housewives, complaining about the perils of botox, or the lack of action with the young men stacking the shelves in the local supermarket.

Dare I suggest, we might even see Grumpy Old Hotel Managers but please don't send your suggestions for potential candidates to me in case I get overwhelmed.

So what makes women grumpy – apart from Grumpy Old Men?

According to the series producer and stand-up comic Judith Holder, it's things like disintegrating bodies, clothes shopping, forgetfulness, bad manners, invisibility, G-strings and sagging breasts.

In the Grumpy OId Men series, a collection of world-weary middle-aged fogies droned on about Pop Idol, mobile phones, Tony Blair and Christmas.

The women, I have to say, are a lot more amusing with their grumbles but that's probably because Holder has written and produced for comics such as Billy Connolly, Dame Edna Everage and Lenny Henry.

Finally, I am indebted to the BBC press office for this guide to finding out whether you or someone you know is a Grumpy Old Woman.

The unmistakable signs
•    Shop assistants cower in fear when you return shoddy goods
•   You are the litter police
•    Young men are afraid to be left alone with you lest you pounce
•    You like a slip-on shoe – saves all that bending
•    If you wore a thong you might look like a Sumo wrestler
•    You start collecting used margarine pots and plastic bags
•    You start to enjoy pottering

Things That Grumpy Old Women Say
•    It's a bloody disgrace
•    I want to talk to the manager
•    Cheerio
•    Struth
•    Spending a penny
•    Whoops
•    Is it me or is it hot in here?
•    I could murder a nice cup of tea
•   I can remember those flared trousers first time around



IAN JARRETT is based in Fremantle, Western Australia from where he travels frequently in Asia on assignments for travel magazines.

He is a member of the BamBoo Alliance, a group of leading travel writers in the region. He can be contacted at ianjarrett@mac.com