Yeoh Siew Hoon takes on a challenge of mega proportions.

Does size matter?

This question is top of mind this week because I attended a media lunch, hosted by Marriott International. The event was to announce the findings of the group's first-ever and largest informal worldwide focus group on island resorts.

They asked more than 200 men and women critical questions such as "If you could choose any person in the world to spend your island vacation with, who would it be?" and "If you were stranded on a deserted island, what is the one thing you would want with you?"

George Clooney (as seen in Ocean's 11 and 12 and not in Syriana where he was grey and tubby) was the guy most women would like to spend their island holiday with. This is so predictable I won't even waste my time analyzing it.

The more interesting answer was to question 2. The absolute must-have on a deserted island is "atmosphere and an authentic environment – followed by good food and beverages and full bathroom amenities".

This proves to me that we travellers just want to have our island and eat it too. I mean, we just want it all, don't we? We want atmosphere and authenticity – which you would find naturally in a deserted island anyway – but we also want our island to be stocked with food, drinks and Hermes toiletries. Which would mean it would not be so deserted after all, wouldn't it?

Baffled by the findings, I turned my attention to a fellow writer at the table. She writes for a women's magazine and she was picking at her chilli crab spaghettini. I felt sorry for these creatures who had sacrificed their life only to be picked at, so I asked her, "What's troubling you, my dear?"

"Deadline today," she muttered. "I am writing an article on does size matter and I am trying to give it a different angle, so that it is different from all the other articles ever written on size."

My ears perked up. Size intrigues me. "What do you mean by size? Women's size or men's size?"

"Women, of course," she said, horrified by my ignorance. "I write for a women's magazine."

"Ah, then I understand your predicament. As far as women's size is concerned, only one size matters – small and smaller," I said.

"Yes, that is my problem. How can I make my article more interesting?" she pouted.

"Well, write about men's size then," I advised. "Women would love to read about men's size, more than their own size, I reckon."

My new-found writer friend giggled. "How lah? My editor would kill me."

Then she added, "Hey, why don't you write about it?"

Never one to refuse a challenge, I thought long and hard about how I could possibly write about men's size in a tourism column.

As luck would have it, I attended a party that same week –  the launch of the latest Xenith line of watches at the soon-to-be-most-talked-about-hotel in Singapore, Hotel New Majestic.

In the lobby of this restored hotel in the heart of Chinatown, where all 30 rooms have different themes and where I think designers forgot to finish off the lobby ceiling, stands a statue of a naked Chinese soldier with extremely tiny genitalia.

I am told it is themed "Ode to my motherland" and it's supposed to be a depiction of a Chinese warrior who has been defeated and therefore stands humiliated and vulnerable, minus his weapons and armour.

Vulnerable, he certainly is.

I watched as a cackle of women gathered round him.

"How unfortunate," said one.

"I wonder why they made him so teeny-weeny," said another.

"Perhaps it's because he is Chinese?" said a Chinese (I insist) woman.

Anxious to deflect another potential racial/religious world conflict, I interjected, "Does size matter?"

I got several answers but I can only repeat this one from a European woman.

"No, but it can't be too ridiculously small like this. You know, I have an Asian boyfriend and he is …"

Unfortunately, the rest of her answer was drowned out by "Funky Town". Man, they do play the music too loud at these celebrity-type parties – cuts out any kind of intelligent conversation.


The SHY Report
A regular column on news, trends and issues in the hospitality industry by one of Asia's most respected travel editors and commentators, Yeoh Siew Hoon.

Siew Hoon, who has covered the tourism industry in Asia/Pacific for the past 20 years, runs SHY Ventures Pte Ltd. Her company's mission is "Content, Communication, Connection".

She is a writer, speaker, facilitator, trainer and events producer. She is also an author, having published "Around Asia In 1 Hr: Tales of Condoms, Chillies & Curries". Her motto is ‘free to do, and be'.

Contacts: Tel: 65-63424934, Mobile: 65-96801460

Check out Siew Hoon's new website, www.shy-connection.com, which features a newly-launched e-zine with a difference.